Once I heard the song “Starlight” by Amanda Cook, I envisioned this painting almost immediately in my mind. The lyrics speak of there being no space between God and I, that He’s closer than the very oxygen I’m breathing in. He saves us from drowning in life, as we drown in His love. He is our only breath of life. This painting came from a deep place that actually has taken many years to cultivate in my heart and mind. As an adoptive family, we have ultimately experienced the emotion of “drowning”. Metaphorically, our children, stuck in their world of abandonment, rejection, loss, grief, fear, abuse and hopelessness, came to us drowning with no hope of ever being rescued, of ever being loved. The real truth in parenting adopted children, is that it can become very stressful. Both child and parent get caught up in the undercurrents of fear. Fear can bring out the worst because fear is the enemy of love. The pains and hurts the children have experienced can surface and rear their ugly heads. For the parents, exhaustion can set in. Strength wanes thin. Hopelessness of finding connection can be overwhelming. Love seems frivolous and sometimes hypocritical. As parents, we can literally feel we are drowning as the churning, cold waters of bitterness and despair fill everyone’s hearts. The child senses emotional death and survival instincts rule over any form of reason or trust.
Yet, there is another drowning. It is a mysterious drowning, a drowning of Love. It comes as an overwhelming and intensely furious wave of compassion and hope. It gives life and purpose instead of hopelessness and death. This drowning is one of the most profound events that can ever happen. This drowning is an immersion into the discovery of the Supernatural Love of God. Supernatural Love is a love that goes beyond human understanding. It is infinite. It is a love that we can’t give out if we don’t possess it ourselves, and we cannot possess it ourselves unless it possesses us. As parents, our drowning in this Love needs to happen for our own lives. Drownings. Drownings that were once devastating, now become drownings that are glorious.
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